Once More Around the Sun
Post-birthday ruminations
Hey all!
My birthday was this past Monday, the 16th. It was a good day, preceded by a fun party over the weekend where I got to see a bunch of friends, and smoke some brisket and ribs for them.
And if you think that brisket might feature in an upcoming episode of Comic Book Kitchen, you just might be on to something!
Overall, it was a great day, both the party and the actual day, but let me tell you, the rest of the week has been something else.
I guess its natural when you get older, that birthdays put you in kind of a pensive mood. You’ve made it another year, it had it’s ups and downs, and here we are ready to do it all over again. It feels like a new beginning, but when things don’t start popping off immediately, you’re sort of left with this feeling like, maybe it doesn’t matter it was your birthday… maybe that wish over your candles just fell on deaf ears.
Getting a couple of pitches rejected probably didn’t help, either. But it’s funny how my relationship with rejection has evolved over the years, with all the projects I’ve done, and the many more I proposed.
My first book, as most of you know, was called Gutter Magic.
It was published in 2016 by the fine folks at IDW, but I’m not sure many of you know that issue 1 was actually created in about 2014 or so. I did a small print run to bring to conventions under my own banner, and pitched it around to anyone who would listen, pretty much convinced that once a publisher saw it, it was a done deal.
Reader, it was not a done deal.
Most everyone I showed it to at cons was very polite and promised to read it, but I didn’t get my hopes up - I had heard that getting picked up at a con was a rare thing, and email submissions were more the way to go. So I did that.
And the rejections just rolled on in! The one I remember the most was from Image’s Shadowline, where each submission was personally read by Jim Valentino, who ran the imprint. The thing was, he liked it! And he told me he ALMOST said yes, but ultimately had to pass.
And man, what a thing that would have been - my first book ever, with the one publisher I had idolized since my childhood. I offered to do more pages, edits, whatever he wanted. But it was not meant to be. I took the news graciously, and thanked Jim for reading it. I didn’t hold him any ill will, and I still don’t!
But I’d be lying if I said it didn’t devastate me for a good long while. It felt like I had gold in my hand, and it just slipped through my fingers. I was pretty sure that I wouldn’t get a chance like that again, and I should just put making comics on hold for a bit while I figured out if I wanted to self publish the rest of Gutter Magic, or just put it in a box somewhere with the rest of my dreams.
Obviously, I didn’t, and I’m really happy I was able to recover and push on through, because a few months later I got a phone call from Andy Schmidt, who wanted Gutter Magic to be part of his new Comics Experience imprint at IDW.
But again, I’d be lying if I said it got any easier from there on in. I had a bunch of new pitches and ideas I sent out in the wake of Gutter Magic’s release - and while I was getting more answers than I was being ignored, those answers were generally big fat nos.
Nobody wanted Wailing Blade. Nobody wanted Road of Bones. Joe and I were lucky to have Comixtribe behind us, who helped us publish WB along with a beautiful deluxe hardcover edition.
And as for Road of Bones, the day after I had decided to just put it away for a while and focus on something new, I got an email from IDW that they wanted to publish it.
Every issue sold out, and got second printings. Issue 1 even got a third. It was a bonafide success! And after that… well, I STILL got rejections.
And I still get them now, 5 years later. And guess what? It still sucks!
But I’ve been around long enough to know that just because an idea isn’t good for Publisher A doesn’t mean it’s not good for Publisher B, or C, or D. And if I believe in the idea, and am willing to put the work in, it will get out there, even if I have to become Publisher Z myself.
The hardest thing about being a creator in this business is getting the door slammed in your face over, and over, and over again. One day you make it into the room and guess what? There’s just more doors.
Anyone can sustain that for a while - but years and years and years of it? It’s hard. That’s why I respect every creator in the game, whether I know them or not, whether I personally like them or not. It’s the one thing we all have in common - being to stubborn, or too dumb to quit when everyone and everything is screaming that quitting is probably the smartest idea.
And it’s not that I have thick skin. I mean I do - you kind of have to develop it - but having thick skin isn’t what gets me through it. There are many, many times where the only thing having thick skin meant that I was miserable in my thick-ass skin.
What I have now, that I didn’t have so much back then was faith in myself. Faith in my talent, my craft, and my work. There was always that thought, so hard to chase off - as Morrissey put it The Smiths’ I Know It’s Over:
… If you're so funny
Then why are you on your own tonight?
And if you're so clever
Then why are you on your own tonight?
If you're so very entertaining
Then why are you on your own tonight?
If you're so very good looking
Why do you sleep alone tonight?
In other words, if you’re such a great writer, how come nobody wants you to write for them? But there’s the problem right there, and the thing I needed to learn.
I can’t write for them. I can only write for me.
And if they - the editor, the publisher, the whole wide world doesn’t want it, that’s their problem. Not mine.
Rejections sting, but that sting is swept away when you really, truly believe in the story you’re creating, and you realize that getting a hundred doors slammed in your face isn’t going to stop you from telling it - because there’s always another door. Or an axe for you to make one with.
Look, if nothing else, when you get rejected a lot, you’ll learn to write long-winded newsletter posts about it rather than letting it stop you from doing your thing.
I know a lot of writers, artists, and people who call themselves aspiring writers and artists follow these posts - so if you’re out there reading, hang in there. Believe in yourself. Help your friends and peers believe in themselves by supporting each other’s projects.
The hard truth is that, it doesn’t get any better. But you sure do.
Anyway, that’s what I’ve been musing about post-birthday. No new announcements right now, but I hope you’ll continue to support my comics!
Rich
P.S. - Morrissey is a total douchebag. But you should still check out The Smiths.